She is in my trunk
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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