And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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