a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
