But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
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It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
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How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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