he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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