I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
