I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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