Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You work out of a Hotel?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
