He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
