and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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