i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
