I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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