Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
