I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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