So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
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What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize