The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
