please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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