yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
