What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
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We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
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She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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