There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
