it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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