yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
