They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
