Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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