escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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