Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
