Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
