im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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