We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I didn't notice because vodka
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
