Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
