NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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