I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
