Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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