Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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