It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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