Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
