well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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