Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
