apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
