This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
