I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
