I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
