"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
