I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
