i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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