You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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