Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize