then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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