Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
