Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
