when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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