If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
