Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
