You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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