last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
