do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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