saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
