Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
