He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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