So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize